Journey

Been busy lately. spending most of my time either occupied with books or friends. it wasnt so long ago that i found myself falling down a rabbit hole just like the one in Alice In Wonderland. I kept falling and falling, occasionally hitting the sides, damaging myself in the process. when at long last I reached the cold hard floor at the end of the rabbit hole. How long have i been falling? it felt so long. as I landed face first i thought to myself, what made me go inside the rabbit hole? alice followed a white rabbit wearing clothes. What am i following? i know i have made bad decisions in life regarding anything or everything. Some of em we're really bad and i wished i could just turn back time and undo my mistake because it will leave me scarred forever. I kept laying there on the floor cursing my own well being for not being tactful in life. I should have looked before i leap. at some points i felt as if my whole existence in life is pointless and useless. so many times i looked myself in the mirror and just close my eyes, when i opened them i hoped to see a different person standing there. Someone who is better, popular and loved in life.
My conscious tells me that i should not wish to be someone better but merely wish to be a better someone. bullshit i told it, many of the decisions that i have made in my past life which i fully regret was based on my conscious alone. i drowned it down by banging my fists on the floor.

Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months. i hoped to starve myself to death and drop dead there. because i knew that no one would be looking for me. Im alone in this world. i never got hungry or thirsty. it was like i was doomed to spend an eternity confined within tis 4 walls. as i lay there staring aimlessly into the abyss pondering on the past, present and future, i hear a faint voice travelling from top to bottom of the rabbit hole. I perked my ears so that i could fully hear what the voice is saying. it sounded faint and weak but i caught every word. Fully understanding the meaning i filled myself up with whatever hope i could scrap up of from the broken pieces of my soul and made the decision to not give up on life and find a way out of the rabbit hole. hoisting myself up to my feet using the strength that is slowly building up inside of me. I kicked down the only door hoping that it would lead me to happiness as well as to my dreams. as i made my way through wat seemed to be a harsh, destroyed world i kept playing the words that fueled my hope. -Dont Stop Believing